How consistent should baby’s naps be?
How tightly should you adhere to your baby’s nap schedule?
As the summer sets in, and this new phase of the pandemic has us out in the world more, parents we talk to are starting to seem a little more anxious about veering from regular nap times.
Consistency versus rigidity in naps
It’s understandable! Disrupting schedules can feel stressful, and sometimes we like to stick to what’s working and not rock the boat. It makes even more sense because during stay-at-home, sticking to nap schedules was easy (and helpful to our sanity).
But then, what happens when, well, life is happening again? You’re traveling, your mommy and me or music class conflicts with a nap, or you’re invited to your niece’s birthday party?
Consistency is a fundamental of The Happy Sleeper approach, especially once we know babies are capable of falling asleep independently (about 5 months and older). But it’s important to distinguish between consistency and rigidity. We do want to be consistent enough so our babies know their “normal way,” especially when it comes to how they fall asleep. This allows good sleep routines to become habitual and expected and helps babies relax into their good sleep habits, instead of test them. Especially if they’re expert self-soothers (which Happy Sleepers are), then consistency has helped them learn this go-to way.
At the same time, it’s good to practice and model some flexibility around the timing of naps. Skipping a nap, moving it a little earlier or later, letting your baby fall asleep in the car on the way to or from class — these things are okay from time to time. We don’t want to hold so tightly that our babies exist in a perfect nap bubble every day. That can lead to more stress on our end.
Baby nap schedules: tips for being flexible
1. Leave a little early for your class or event so your baby can fall asleep in the car, stroller or carrier. If possible you can even bring your baby into your destination asleep and let them wake naturally.
2. Help them fall asleep during your class or event by using a front carrier. As parents already know, standing up and swaying or bouncing often does the trick (which is why we often keep a yoga ball in our Mommy & Me class).
3. If your baby doesn’t fall asleep before or during your outing, you may find that they fall asleep on the way home. At this point, it’s likely a good bit later than their usual nap time. It’s ok to let them sleep and then do your best to get back on track for the rest of the day.
4. If your outing is to a relative’s or friend’s home, bring a pack ‘n play or portable crib along with whatever you need to mirror your routine and sleep environment from home (books, pj’s, a familiar sheet, etc.). Use a Slumberpod if you have one. When it’s nap time, follow your nap routines and be sure to find a very dark and quiet room. If you do this regularly, maybe a weekly visit to grandma and grandpa’s home, your baby will likely adapt and sleep quite well.
It’s ok to use a “cheat” nap option (stroller, car or carrier) occasionally, while holding onto your consistent routines and helpful sleep associations at home. What you want to avoid, once you’ve implemented the Sleep Wave, is feeding or rocking baby to sleep, especially when you’re home. If you haven’t yet implemented the Sleep Wave and your baby is under five months, you can use your Soothing Ladder and help them fall asleep on the go, just like you do at home.
Most importantly, don’t worry too much. Nighttime sleep is the most important for your baby’s development and health so the occasionally low-nap day is something your baby can weather. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but give yourself permission to shift your baby’s nap schedule occasionally (once a week or so). Over time, your baby will learn from you that life is not always orderly and predictable. You will model a mindset of being open-minded and adaptable when a meaningful priority arises. Your baby will absorb these essential life skills of flexibility and balance. You can imagine how this will benefit and enrich family life for all of you.
Need help establishing self-soothing, independent sleep, or sleeping through the night? You can learn more about our sleep consultations, or enroll in an online class. Your baby is capable!