I Started the Sleep Wave, But…
Why a little extra help can go a long way
Weaning was not going as expected. Despite very gradually reducing night feedings while using the Sleep Wave guidelines, the parents of a 6-month-old were telling us that he continued to wake at night and he was not happy.
(spoiler alert, this was during our live Q+A Office Hours, so we were immediately able to figure out why — see below)
Another lovely mom told us her toddler was so attached to her pacifier she worried that if she removed it when starting the Sleep Wave, her daughter would never find a way to self soothe.
A couple explained to Julie in a phone consult that they wanted to start the Sleep Wave with their 8-month old son but didn’t have a second bedroom in their apartment.
All these nuanced questions make so much sense, even for the most thorough and studious followers of the Sleep Wave. Sometimes it feels like you’re the only one dealing with a particular issue. Your 5 month old is nursing to sleep all night long and it seems like there’s just no way out, or your 8 month old has never napped independently, so the prospect of singing a little song and popping them into the crib sounds completely foreign.
The proof is in the pudding
It’s all fully possible and attainable, though. You’ve heard us say it before, but that’s because it’s so true: Babies are capable of sleeping independently, through the night, from 5 months on. Handing over that role to them in a responsive and clear way can take just a week or two—like a full 180!
Why sleep progress stalls
But for some parents, there’s a gap between the progress they make with the Sleep Wave and that end goal. “We started the Sleep Wave and it’s going great, but …..” is the message we sometimes get (which is why we do consults and why we started our Q+A Office Hours to accompany the online class). When your particular baby or child’s situation has you feeling stuck, you may need a little personal attention to get over that hump.
Usually, the stalled progress comes from factors like,
Parents response is not following a consistent pattern.
Parents are worried, frustrated, not confident in their plan (you name it!) and babies pick up on that.
Parents have gotten confusing messages or input and are trying to “Frankenstein” a sleep plan rather than following one approach with commitment (hint, that often doesn’t end well).
Why the 6 month old was waking up mad
Which brings us back to our 6 month old for whom weaning seemed to have the opposite effect the parents wanted and their baby was still waking up, but now was extra angry about it. When we asked more about the situation, it turned out dad was sleeping in the baby’s bedroom and sneaking out after feeding to then use the Sleep Wave. A ha! A 6 month old baby is too smart and aware for that. The parents had also stalled at the 1 oz mark and were continuing to offer that small amount of milk. Dad moved out to give her more space, took the last step in weaning, and voila—sleeping through the night followed shortly after.
And you probably know the end of the paci story: We reviewed an empathic and clear strategy for moving on and one week later the toddler was nuzzling with a lovey and that was it, she slept through the night like a champ.
Now stick to it!
It’s funny, we’ve been doing this for so long, we know what may seem like a huge obstacle to you (and we really get that that’s how it feels - we were there once, too) is something we can easily reframe, tweak and troubleshoot.
We learned back in graduate school that reaching out for help is an important life skill. We can’t all be experts at everything. The good new is, unlike PT or therapy or exercise class, we can usually fix things in one phone call or Q+A session.
Nothing makes us happier than having a chance to see you and talk with you so we can gather up and solve the loose ends of your Sleep Wave. Success is very much in reach and we want to help you get over the finish line!
We’ve got you! Check out the online classes for every age, taught by Julie and Heather!
Here’s a preview of the 4-24 month class
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THE HAPPY SLEEPER Consultations
Tailored sleep help - just for you.
Have a question about your specific baby? Maybe you read the book or watched the class and you want to ask about your unique situation? Or you want us to walk you through the whole process, start to finish? We’ve got you!
After watching this class, you will have a clear sleep plan for your baby to sleep through the night. If you implement the Sleep Wave in an organized and consistent way, night sleep often improves in 2-7 nights.