How To Make the Best Bedtime Chart
The simple project that makes for smoother sleep
Is your bedtime routine flowing well and working for everyone involved? If not, it’s time for a bedtime chart.
Bedtime routines should be enjoyable (ish - most of the time), something you don’t dread, and a sequence of steps that take around 20-45 minutes but doesn’t drag on and on.
BUT, toddlers and little kids are brilliant designers of stall tactics, which means that sometimes just getting through the bedtime routine and actually getting your child physically into bed can feel like pushing a boulder up a mountain. “I need to put my other pjs on! I need the water in the fishie cup. Now I need to get a different blankie for my bears!” The negotiating and stalling can try your patience as a parent and take the enjoyment out of bedtime.
A bedtime chart can really shift the dynamic and help your little one get through the bedtime routine and into bed. It’s the opposite of feeling like you’re dragging them along. A chart helps enormously when you’re making a change to your child’s routines, or you need clarification and a mutual understanding about what they entail. You want everyone, including your little one, to be on the same page.
How to make a simple bedtime chart:
Take a large piece of poster paper.
Write the words and draw an illustration of each step of your child’s routine (bath, pajamas, brushing teeth, books, songs…).
Have your child help you create the chart. They can draw and color and discuss the steps with you, depending on their age.
Hang the chart in a common area like the hallway
You can ask your child to check the chart and complete each step of the routine. Be the “Bumbling Parent” (check out Now Say This for tons more communication tools): Ask, “I forget, which step comes next after teeth, can you check the chart?”
Bedtime will go more smoothly when your child feels engaged and capable. Bedtime resistance is basically a power struggle and the chart makes your child feel more in control and powerful.
Bedtime chart vs. sticker chart
Importantly, this is not a rewards chart! Reward charts are problematic because they can backfire and send an unhelpful message about sleep. This is simply your child’s routine in visual form, so they can refer to it and feel ownership. Resist praising or showing big excitement when the routine goes well. Also avoid reprimanding or punishing when it doesn’t go well.
Now stick to it!
A lot of our parents find it easier to cave than to stick to the routine when their child insists on more books or songs or for them to stay until they’re asleep. Yes, you’ll achieve the short term gain of avoiding a meltdown that particular evening, but to reach your long term goal of smoother, more peaceful bedtimes that don’t fade later and later, holding the limits of the bedtime routine will be crucial. It’s ok if your child gets upset and pleads for something that’s not part of their routine. You can use ALP (the 3-step approach from Now Say This). Say something like,
A - Attune - I know you really want one more book (one more song, for me to stay, another snack, etc.). I get it!
L - Limit Set - At bedtime we follow your chart so we know what comes next and can help your body get cozy.
P - Problem Solve - Tomorrow afternoon we can read more books (sing more songs, etc.).
We’re writing this during the Summer Olympics which makes us want to say, be sure to stick the landing! You’ve got this!
Here’s an example of a Bedtime Chart:
The Happy Sleeper: The science-backed guide to helping your baby get a good night’s sleep (ages 0-6).
Need help walking out of the room after the routine’s over? We’ve got you! Check out the Little Kid Sleep Class, taught by Julie and Heather!
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