Is My Baby or Child Having a Nightmare?
Even the youngest babies have “dream sleep” or REM, so it’s possible that a baby of any age could be having a nightmare. What constitutes a nightmare for an infant or toddler? It could be a startling sound, the image of a stranger, a big dog or a new environment, or any simple imagery that conjures an uneasy or fearful feeling. Of course we don’t really know what young children dream about before they can tell us.
It’s not until kids are at least 3 years old that they start to have classic nightmares. At this point, they have creative minds and imaginations, which means they also have more complex fears and storytelling abilities that translate into nighttime. There is also still so much about the world that they don’t understand, like whether monsters exist or which new things signal danger and which do not. They can now tell us about the stories in their dreams.
If you’re wondering whether your little one is having nightmares, here are points to consider:
Bad dreams are most common in the second half of the night. So crying at 2:00 a.m. is more likely to be a nightmare than at 10:00 p.m.
Nightmares are more likely when kids are missing sleep. If nightmares are a frequent occurrence, it could mean your baby, toddler, or child needs a more regular bedtime or a little more (even 30 minutes more) sleep every night. Remember that sleep regularity is just as important as duration.
If your child is not awake when they’re crying, and they continue to be distressed even when you try to console them, they are likely having a night terror. Night terrors happen in slow wave sleep, or in the transition out of slow wave sleep (versus the REM sleep of dreams).
4. Sometimes yelling out or crying in the night is more of an indication that the baby or child feels a lack of confidence about self-soothing. They wake up and express themselves by crying, but what they’re really saying is “Hey, I want to be asleep, but think I need help to do it!” If they’re over 5 months old, Happy Sleeper families know what this means. It means the baby thinks they need help, but it’s only out of habit and expectation. Babies 5 months and older are super capable, but if they don’t have the right patterns and routines in place, they lose their confidence and it can turn into a bigger sleep issue.
In Chapter 5 of The Happy Sleeper book, we outline the differences between night terrors and nightmares in detail, along with strategies for how to handle both. In the Little Kid Sleep class, you can learn about what to do so that your child’s nightmares don’t snowball into a disruptive pattern.
Nightmares (and night terrors) are normal for children and adults alike. As a parent, it’s understandable to feel worried and even a little helpless when your child is in distress. Having a plan and eventually, helping your child have their own plan (their toolbox of strategies) will help you not dread these unwelcome, night visitors.
Sound like your baby or child? Check out the Online Classes for less stress, an easier bedtime and a full night sleep:
Our most popular publications:
THE HAPPY SLEEPER ONLINE VIDEO COURSEs
Ready to sleep through the night?
Online classes from Heather and Julie — creators of the popular and revolutionary Happy Sleeper methods.
THE HAPPY SLEEPER Consultations
Tailored sleep help - just for you.
Have a question about your specific baby? Maybe you read the book or watched the class and you want to ask about your unique situation? Or you want us to walk you through the whole process, start to finish? We’ve got you!
Sleep issues are common once kids move to a toddler bed. In this class, Heather and Julie teach you their gentle and effective strategies to help get your 2-6 year olds sleep through the night, independently.